I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! I checked myself in the mirror last night and all was fine. I got up this morning and there it was. There it was, a new guest on my face. Should we name it? Basil? Johnny? Franz? It won’t change anything, however I name it, it will be there: a date’s worst enemy decided to show up today, of all days. I am wondering, what have I done to deserve a spot right now? The stars are against me, my karma is all over the place, or maybe the wheel of destiny got stuck, must be one of these options. Oh, and let’s not even mention Murphy’s Law! Murphy’s Law and dates are best friends — if it carries on at this rate, I will end up being single forever. Mister Murphy, yes you: this is on you. I am watching you, you know? Ah… Nevermind, you always win, anyway. I need a savior… Let’s see who can help, let me open my drawer of miracles. Toothpaste? Not useful but for getting ready for my first kiss with my date, and let’s face it, who wants to kiss a disfigured monster like me today? Honestly, they might as well take me to Roswell and make a case study out of me, considering the UFO-size of this pimple. Ah well. Let’s go back to our battle plan, come on. Disposable patches are out of the question right now: yes, they work wonders, but they need a whole night to be effective and that goes without saying: I don’t have a whole night here, do I? I could try one of my gel treatments, they dry so fast and they should also dry out my new friend in a matter of a few hours. But… Gel makes it hard to apply makeup. Think, Giulia, think. Got it! A 2-in-1 concealer! How could it take me so long to figure that out? It will cover up this mess, and its active ingredients will work on that monster pimple down there, to make it go away. Let me cover that all up with an extra touch of concealer and there I go: I figured it out. That’s good, because it means I don’t have to postpone that date again. Well… Let’s look at the bright side: if he likes me today, it can only be good news, right?
from The Blonde Salad